Sunday, October 28, 2007

Get up at dawn and start again

My goodness. It's after noon already. Two cups of coffee, fed the dog; now crashed out on the couch listening to the leaves rustle in the wind and watching a steady trickle of cyclists on the trail by the lake.

Two shows down now too. It is a very good show. There was a train wreck on Friday; but it was minor, no casualties.

Let's see. What did I do.

In "Shiksa Goddess" I repeated the line "If you had a tattoo" in the last verse, rather than the correct lyric "If you had a pierced tongue". But got the rest of the lyric right. No harm done.

Big trouble in "Moving too fast" - Right up front. I'm supposed to sing
I'm gliding smooth as a figure skater
I'm riding hot as a rocket blast
I just expected it ten years later
I've got a singular sensation things are moving too fast

And you say "Oh, No! Step on the brakes, do what ever it takes, but stop this train.
Slow! Slow! The light's turning red . . ."
But I say: No no what ever I do I barrel on through and I don't complain
I sang:

I'm gliding smooth as a figure skater
I'm riding hot as a rocket blast
I just expected it ten years later
I've got a singular sensation things are moving too fast

shiszedil ableac dka blah asssttl a;sdlkdpllsft lasthast alskdfrjjwoac,c asd asd n;aseicib 'asaqznvkaslcc,c,c, a
But I say: No no what ever I do I barrel on through and I don't complain
Yeah. Fun times.

Then, during "Schmuel" I'm supposed to sing

Schmuel would work 'til half-past ten at his tailor shop in Klimovich
Get up at dawn and start again, with the pins and hems and twist
Forty-one years had come and gone at his tailor shop in Klimovich
Watching the winters soldier on, there was one thing Schmuel missed.


I sang:

Schmuel would work at his tailor shop at his tailor shop in Klimovich
Get up at dawn and start again, with the pins and hems and twist
Forty-one years he soldiered on at his tailor shop in Klimovich
Watching the winter's come and to, there was one thing Schmuel missed.


Not too bad. But that's the first verse of seventeen, so I was shaking through the rest of it. And nearly broke down in tears on the last note - BECAUSE I MADE IT THROUGH!

Next song is the wedding song and proposal. We're supposed to be sitting together in Central Park. In actuality, I'm sitting alone on stage pretending she is sitting next to me, and pointing to buildings on Central Park West.

My lyrics are supposed to be:

No, that one's Jerry Seinfeld.
That one's John Lennon there.
No, the Dakota,
The San Remo is up a few blocks . . .

I blanked on John Lennon. So I said Paul Newman instead.

Other than that, there weren't any more fuck-ups on opening night. There were a lot of mesmerizing moments and the full house gave us a standing ovation.

So, big whoop. You know what, this is a good show. I am proud of it, but it hasn't been so much fun yet. Being alone, Janice and I don't get to hang out together, because we're alternating times on stage.

Anyway, last night was error free. Tonight should be good too. I hope we have a nice house to perform too. We had 40 there opening night, and that was a full house, but I think we had only about 28 there last night. And Sunday is ususaly the hard sell. I really hope that some of the calls and emails I made will result in some more people tonight. I'm afraid that next weekend will be oversold.

All the best,
Vig

Thursday, October 25, 2007

And the band starts to play as the horses go round.

I'm tired. J. and I went out after rehearsal last night and had a couple of drinks - which we both knew was a mistake -but we decided we deserved it. You can't imagine how odd this show feels. What we miss most, I think, is having a chorus of extras. This is so isolated. We only interact on stage one time, otherwise it's like a solo show for each of us. So, we needed some time together to share our experiences with this show. And it's been good. I tell you, the music is great, and the direction has been spot on and intense.

Rehearsal last night was very good. The first night with lights, and the lights are great. I didn't fuck anything up - just a tiny bit of stumbling over some lyrics. Dress rehearsal tonight could be better or worse. Better if I get a nap, worse if I don't.

All the best,
Vig

*And we're off!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

All That I Ask For

Rehearsal sucked last night. I sucked. I screwed up something in every song I did. I either fucked up the lyrics or paused just long enough to gather my wits, that the pianist got way ahead of me . . . and then there are the times when I was to nervous to hold a note for 12 beats, so I got way ahead of the pianist.

This could me a nightmare.

But, It will probably be brilliant. That's what rehearsals are for right? Except dress rehearsal is tomorrow, and I thought I was much secure than I am.

So - work and study - study and work - and study, study, study.

I don't know what happened. I know this stuff! But I was singing things in the wrong order, jumping ahead, getting distracted by furniture and new blocking. Stop to think about where to put a chair, and you're not thinking about the lyrics anymore. And it just keeps rolling on, whether or not I'm riding the wave, or under it.

Sheesh!

Hope your day's grand!

Vig

Monday, October 22, 2007

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Off to Work We Go

So much work today, and yet I am totally distracted and obsessed with all things The Last Five Years. It's a typical hell week. We open on Friday, and I can't wait. And I am scared, and excited, and can't go five minutes without checking a lyric. It's hard to get anything done!

The weekend was good. There was something bad on Friday though, with me and Rolf and my drinking. I slept in the guest room on Friday night. And on Saturday morning, I remembered how mad I was at him - but I couldn't remember why! I am very upset about that.

He was still mad at me when he woke up, so it was difficult to get him to sit on the couch with me so we could talk. I was crying when I told him. And when he got angry in the retelling of the tale, I remembered then . . . but until he reminded me, I really really couldn't remember what it was.

We talked for a long time. He said that he thinks AA is bullshit. That alcoholism is not a disease, it's a symptom of depression, low self-esteem - both stemming from childhood abuse, and exacerbated by my job performance. I really need to get over this crap. And get a new job!

I asked him if I really was that bad - that dramatic. He said "Not outwardly, but I can see it all the drama that goes on in your head." And he's right of course.

So, drink less, get a new job, contact my family regularly, stop isolating myself and beating myself up all the time . . . now.

I'm going to get a new job.

All the best,
Vig

Friday, October 19, 2007

No. No, it's not my lot, I gotta make do mit the time I got.

I wanna do a show! I can't wait. Janice is so good, and everybody likes what I'm doing too. The program is almost finished. We have two more rehearsals before moving into the theater. My heart starts banging on my chest at the thought.

I'm at work - working - and watching clips of The Last Five Years on YouTube. It's a lot of fun to see what other people did with the show, both good and bad. There's a lot of both!

And they're all just kids!

I'd like to promise to only do age appropriate roles from now on, except "Pippin". I'd play Pippin, even if I was 70!

All the best,
Vig

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I've Been Waiting for Someone Like You

Rehearsals are going well. I'm very excited. Monday was a stressful day because of a misunderstanding about the theater space. The producer thought that we couldn't get in until Wednesday because the school is using the space. But that's not right. The problem is that they can't focus the lights until Wednesday, and that only give us two nights to work with them before we open. But we can be there with our sets starting on Monday night. So we have four nights there. And it's a one act, so we should be able to run the show a couple of times.

It's an exceptional show. It starts at 7:30 in Fairfax - close to Falls Church, Annandale, and the beltway.

I'd love for you to come. Whoever you are.

Monday, October 15, 2007

I'm Feeling Panicked, and Rushed, and Hurried

That's a lyric from one of my songs. Today I feel like it is the beginning of Hell Week. Only Hell Week, is usually only a week long, and I think this one will be two weeks long. We run the show tonight, I think it is the first time. And it is the very first time running the show with our Billy Joel pianist. I am terrified that he will walk. Why? Well, we don't have a grand piano for him to play, and he may be surprised that we're not further along than we are. I think J. (my co-star) is further along than I am. I'm still stumbling over some lyrics. And I've got four short blocks of dialog - one sided phone conversations - that I don't feel like I know at all. I hope I'll be able to do them tonight without asking for "Line". The theater we're going into next week is great; but, we don't get to set the lights until the night before dress rehearsal.

Oh my God, I need more rehearsal. Much much more.

Much more.

Help!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

There Was Magic Abroad in the Air

26th Anniversary Celebration continues at Extra Virgin in Shirlington for cocktails and jazz, and then dinner out on the concourse at the Carlyle. We had lobster pot stickers, and cajun crab balls, and assorted entrees. But really, the main reason to go to the Carlyle - is for those appetizers. This time the red pepper sauce had some chili in it and an extra dose of ginger - but I still licked the plate clean. Well, I was out of the rosemary dinner rolls already, and couldn't wait for more.

Picture I Found - 1999

Saturday, October 06, 2007

The Streets of Town Were Paved with Stars


Puck and Memae joined us for dinner (and picked up the check!) on the patio at Florianna's Mercury Grille on 17th Street for our Anniversary Saturday night. I don't think we'd been back since the Saturday night before we finally left for Italy. This is one of my favorite restaurants. I'm still on the diet, so I didn't have the beloved ravolli di zucca (fresh pasta filled with butternut squash). Instead I had a thick filet of seabass crusted with pistachios, and served over a creamy risotto.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Make of Our Lives One Life

Our first rehearsal with BJ and his dog, Spencer, was amazing. He immedialty understands and expresses what the composer is saying with his beautiful and exciting piano. This is going to be a great show.

I was a bit shy for the rehearsal. It wasn't really the time for much talking, anyway. But I kept feeling like if I'd had one drink I wouldn't feel so socially awkward. And that if I'd had one drink, I'd totally have disrespected the honor of singing with these people. The thought was like a rolling massage ball that I squeezed and rolled around my hand. But, I wouldn't have had one drink, at least my one drink equals three for anyone else. And I just felt so grateful and ashamed.

But then we made it through the show, and even the number I felt I didn't have on it's feet yet, "A Miracle Would Happen" - well, it felt pretty good! Very good.

___________

This weekend is our 26th Anniversary. It feels like yesterday, we were celebrating in Italy. The torment of the trip being delayed at the last minute . . . well, that doesn't even cross my mind. It sure has been a good year. The joy that trip brings me on such a frequent basis, the memories that come back, the sense that I'm looking at a beloved everytime a famous scene of Venice, Florence, Sorrento, or Rome comes up in an advertisement or movie . . . it's beyond all expectations.

And being with Rolf for those twelve days, everyday, every moment . . . has made me just want to be with him more. Right now, with his new position stressing him out, and The Last Five Years taking up all of my time, we're hardly seeing each other and hardly speaking to each other. It's like we're civil to each other, but we're not lovers or even in love. But, that's just on the surface. Beneath the surface, I am madly in love him, and I can't wait to hold his hand and spend hours and hours and days and weeks, looking into his blue eyes and swimming in his beautiful smile.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I Could Never Rescue You; All You Ever Wanted

God I wanted a drink last night. I haven't been drunk or had a drink since last Wednesday. I just want to make it until opening night - just a little break at least.

"Just a glass of wine with dinner" I argued with myself. And then I pictured myself having the glass of wine . . . and a shot of vodka as I ran out the door, and I said "No."

I have lost control. Have a drink before rehearsal? Do I want to destroy absolutely everyone's opinion of me? It's bad enough that I've been snubbed by Bemmy and Sonny. And I have been thinking of other people I never hear from; how many of those are because I get so drunk? Then there are the others I ignore, because I'd rather have been at home nursing a bottle.

Well. I am in a show that just a gift from God. The Last Five Years is so fantastically written, J. and I are going to be great in it. And now that we have BJ on the piano, who's Julliard trained; well, it's just going to be a fantasy come true. Fifty-seat theatre, just me and J. on stage, fantastic music, lights, sets, costumes, dancing, laughing, crying, kissing. Applause.

Hooray. Hooray!

Opening October 26th! The same day I could get my 30 day AA chip.

It will be a great day.

And then I'll have a martini.

Probably. Maybe.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Forty-one Seasons of Dreams

I had a really nice weekend. Rolf wouldn't come with me, and as it turned out, pissed off as I had been; I was glad at the end. I spent ten hours over the two days rehearsing on the beach, and watching me sing to the fish wouldn't have distracted him from the myriad of chores he seemingly fruitlessly obsesses about. (Take that, you.)

Bailey is still in recovery (that's the main reason he didn't want to go out of town), although we're now letting her off the leash in the backyard. But she's having bladder problems; we don't know what's brought that on. Luckily, she wasn't on our upstairs furniture, although she was on the cast-off sofa downstairs. Now, it's really going to be cast off. I'm looking for a Craig's List replacement, for free or cheap! That couch really was the pits anyway.

So, I don't know. I didn't drink - Of course it crossed my mind, mostly after Rolf called to "check" on me, which pissed me off - because I was trying to find my wallet, which I'd lost, and still make it to an AA meeting that was starting in less than 30 minutes. So, I brushed him off the phone, and drove to the church, over on Olive Street, and found a parking space right under a street lamp - which was great, because then I could finally see well enough to find my wallet. I swear, I thought I'd dropped it on the beach, or it was stolen.

Anyway. It was a 7:30 meeting, in a Summer Town - and there were only four of us there. Two more joined us later. The group name is Gay Joyous and Free, I thought he said it was Gay Fabulous and Free. They try to keep it going in the off season, and I'm glad they did, because it was me - with my third 24 hour chip, plus a young man who's just gotten out of detox that morning, his lover - and then we were joined by two lesbians - one who'd just gotten out of detox herself (the two were very happy to see each other again), and her lover. So, this one guy led the meeting for me and these other two newbies; and I really appreciate it. I'd have been drunk by 8:15 if they hadn't been there.

Instead, I went back to the house and watched Young Frankenstein with a few friends, and laughed my ass off. Made it to bed sober, and was back on the beach by 11, clear headed and rehearsing because I didn't have a hang over and hadn't overslept.

That made for a very good day.

And I know the lyrics to all the songs!!!!!