Rehoboth

Open ocean backdrop, a green Delaware Doghead Beer baseball cap over graying hair, stylish sunglasses, a safety yellow and cobalt kayak life vest, sitting on top of a lime-green sea kayak, we see Vig floating among a superpod of dolphins. As if they were Cypress Garden beauties, rising out of the water to begin a multi-skier routine, nine dolphins surface and breath before disappearing under water. A dorsal fin is labeled “420”. Vig sighs wistfully. He says to the nearest dolphin: “Every night they gave me thunderous applause.”

Shirtless, wearing a short white and cobalt tortoise themed bathing suit, he is stumbling over words of the show tunes he is singing as he walks the semi-secluded beach. A passerby’s glance reads: “At least you are cute, weirdo.” Glaringly, Vig replies: “Every night I sang with a fantastic band.”

Guido del Giorno, in tiny red rugby shorts seemingly held on with spray glue, refuses to flirt with Vig while being stalked on the beach. Vig kicks the sand, and sits on the beach as Guido saunters into the ocean. He waits and hopes that Guido’s suit will be taken by a wave. Or that he will walk out like Neptune rising from the sea, with his wet suit clinging tightly to his pole. Frustration builds. “Last week Uncle Ernie asked if he could grab my ass,” he says throwing wet sand into the surf.

Body surfing a big wave, hands out stretched. Vig feels a hairy leg and looks up surprised to find he is almost face down in a beautiful man’s crotch. . . he says, “OK, this is fun too.”