Christmas 42 Scene’s and Summaries

We never forget how frightened we once were that we wouldn’t have our families any more. It’s now 25 years later, and it’s endlessly amazing to be there amidst them all, and see how my family loves him, and to feel how his family loves me.

Everything was pretty. It was emotional. Tender, yet difficult.

Rolf, with an obnoxious cold, had a proposal due. He worked every day, except Christmas itself, even giving up his tickets to the Redskins vs. Giants game.

Friday, we had time off from work in the morning to see Seusical the Musical at Imagination Stage with a bunch of 8 year old kids on field trips, including our very gay 8 year old nephew. Then he worked until 10PM, and I went and finished the Christmas Shopping.

Christmas Eve – Saturday – he worked, and it was stressful for him. I wrapped all the gifts. He was surprised.

We got to my families at about 8 on Christmas Eve. My Mom, Dad, Sister (Joy), Nephew (Russ), his girlfriend, Rolf and I had a late dinner, and then we opened presents. It was just the presents from us to them and from them to us, because they were waiting to do the traditional Christmas on Christmas Day . . .

My family loved the presents I got for them. Mama loved the Christmas Ornaments, the board games, Joy loved the jewelry I got her, and she ooohed and ahed over it. Russ already had the book, but loved getting theatre tickets. Daddy had a good laugh over the bungee cord squirrel feeder.

Anyway . . . I didn’t talk of cancer. I decided that Mom didn’t want to talk about it, and I told her . . . well what happened is that my sister called to tell me that Mom had more bad news. Did I tell you? It’s twice as many tumors. So, I called Mom that day and I told her that I’d already heard the news; I knew it wasn’t good. She had been crying, which was real hard to deal with. But she said, “I really don’t like talking about it.” I said “That’s ok, that’s not why I called anyway. We’ll have to talk about it sometime, but later.” And I went on with whatever my news was; I do try to be entertaining.

So, that was Thursday before Christmas.

At dinner Christmas Eve - Daddy was talking about Mom as if she was already dead. I gave him a talking too about it in the morning before we left.. “A talking too . . . ,” listen to me. Well, I had too. His favored subject was how he was going to get on without her. Really. My sister didn’t seem to have a problem with that, joining in to say how she was going to move in with Dad to take care of him, assuring Dad that any new husband of hers would have to accept him too. . . Once she even said to my Mom that if she should ever make it to remission that they could go to Italy together. Notably she didn’t say “When you reach remission. . .”

Daddy looked like a little boy when I took him aside and told him to knock it off. He looked sad and punished when he quietly objected saying: “But she talks about it . . .” I pointed out that she hadn’t joined in any conversation about her not being here anymore. And I asked him to just not bring it up on Chirstmas Day. Let her have a holiday free from talking about it if she want’s it.

That part of the holiday left Rolf a little shell shocked. I kept a handkerchief at hand in case I lost it. It was ok. But Mama didn’t look good Christmas morning. She was cooking link sausage, dressed up in holiday colors for church, but she looked tired. It didn’t really register so I went ahead with the “Merry Christmas! Did you sleep well?!” cheerfulness. It turned out that she hadn’t slept much because the tumors on her spine have begun to hurt. She was very stiff.

We had our traditional waffle breakfast with fresh fruit compote and whipped cream to top it off. Then we rushed off to Rolf’s families, and although we got there just moments before noon, they were just sitting down to breakfast.

I’m not going any further with this post. I wrote this last week, and set it aside hoping an inspirational thought would come so I could spice it up. But, it is what it is.

All best wishes,

Vig