Monday, November 07, 2005

Our hymn of grateful praise

We had a fun time with Puck’s mom Friday. Rolf told the phone story again. (You don’t know it yet, but you will!) Mom C. laughed so hard, I bet she peed. This time, Memae sent home a care package that gave us leftovers for several days. And not just leftover pork tenderloin with sauerkraut either; there were roasted potatoes, and peas, and for good measure, all the uncooked leftover potatoes too. Rolf and I laughed hard when we found them in the bag. When we saw Puck and Memae again on Sunday, she tried to send home the flowers she picked up at Eastern Market. She was hugging me goodbye and insisting that I take the flowers because “You boys didn’t buy anything at the market and you always like fresh flowers.” When she asked why I wouldn’t take them, I laughed, hugged her, and whispered in her ear: “because you’re just a little bit crazy.”

Saturday – Joy was late to our ballroom dance class. She really missed most of it. It turned out that she had been talking to Mom, who confessed that the doctors suspect that she, again, has cancer. I was stoic when I found out. For a moment.

Rolf and I were having guests for a veddy civilized tea in the afternoon. I stopped by the gourmet store for some cookies on my way home, and cried the whole time I was shopping. Not sobbing, so nobody noticed, but if anyone asked what was wrong, I would have lost it.

Before the “tea” (which is just absurd, but still great fun) we toured the Southern Accents “Old Dominion” Design House in Mclean, where we met Tomas, and some other friends. Then they came back for our low tea. Yes, we really did. And this was Rolf’s doing. Rolf resembles a linebacker more than a prince, so it was really odd, but it was in honor of the royals visiting DC at the time. It really was fun and easy. Remarkably, for all the fuss we put into making bite-sized, crust less sandwiches; the actual tea party was not fussy at all. It was nice to just sit on the couches and talk while nibbling sandwiches and scones, and sipping hot tea.

Afterward, we went to a basket auction fundraiser, and then stopped for a quick beer with some friends. And then I made a late dinner, using that leftover pork and sauerkraut that Memae had sent home. I turned it into Reuben's with gruyere and roasted red peppers. Oh my god it was good!

I had to be at church Sunday at 8:30. We sang the Wm. Dawson arrangement of “Soon-Ah Will Be Done” again. I had such a good time singing it a few weeks ago (at a different service) that I asked Rolf to come when we did it again. And yesterday was the day. He had said he’d come, but as I left for church, he was still in bed and totally non-responsive. I didn’t think he was coming.

Hymns can always make me cry, especially so if I’m worried about my Mom. So, I was pretty weepy during the service. Then while were gearing up for the big finish of “Soon-Ah Will Be Done,” I see Rolf looking over his shoulder at me, while sitting in a pew just a few rows away from the choir. It was so unexpected that I got choked up. Even though I looked away as quickly as I could, and struggled for a big breath, it was too late. I managed to sing most of the notes, but my throat was so constricted that I couldn’t get any power. I gave him such a pinch.

Sunday was beautiful! We’re having an Indian summer. It was bright, warm and breezy, with golden leaves falling like snow. We had lunch out side at Mr. Henry’s with Puck and Memae, and then we went off to tour the Eastern Market. Upon returning home, Rolf and I both walked into the sunroom to let d’Ohgy out and were absolutely stunned at the view of the crimson and gold forest, streams of sunlight, falling leaves, and the sparkling lake beyond.

If you had been one of the dozens of people walking around the lake at sunset, on the path beyond our gate; you would have seen these two boys curled up and asleep in the hammock, while the wind tickled the leaves until they floated to the ground.

It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

Reviewing my weight this year: on 4/26, I weighed 180: on 7/25, 173: on 11/07, 185. Oops. With no show, I’m drinking a bottle of wine or 3 to 4 vodka cocktails every night. Even though my schedule is much more open without a show, I am still not exercising other than the occasional stroll to the marina. Depression still has a strong hold on me. The Wellbutrin is as effective as it can be if I continue to drink and not exercise. I’m making a commitment now to drink less, move more, and lose weight.

I am thankful that Mom has been cancer free for three years.
I am thankful that, if she has cancer now, they found it early.
I am thankful for being cigarette free for three months.
I am thankful for the beautiful fall weekend.
I am thankful for loving times with my man.
I am thankful the hammock didn’t break.

All the best,
Vig

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