Not ready

Fun week!

Mixed with celebrating the Alliance of Community Theatre Awards, multiple viewings of Urinetown, Puck and Lori arriving, and more; it couldn’t have been much more fun. (Unless, I didn't have a day job, was in a show, got high, had sex, or had sex while high. . except for stuff like that of course.)

There was an odd moment last Thursday at choir practice. Odd but fun. Everyone knew I was up for something, but not clear exactly what. So, I get there and everyone wants the dirt; “Did you win?” “What Did You Win?” “What Show?” "Hmm. Never heard of it. . ." and so on.

The organist for the church is a youngish straight guy, let's call him "Geek", who's never said a word to me. He appears to be “afraid of the gays,” you know? Anyway, the director (who, I now realize is lesbian, not transexual) asks me how the awards went – and everybody in the room just stopped in mid-motion and mid-sentence – and waited. (Just like that Morgan Stanley commercial - “When Morgan Stanley talks; people listen.”)

I said “It couldn’t have been much better; we had almost a clean sweep!” And they all give out a shout! I hardly know these people, I've only been in the choir for a short time. But it was really nice. The organist went a bit further than the rest, by jumping up and cheering like his team just scored a field goal. He looked at me with a look of love and happiness, which was really short lived as I was staring back at him with a look that might well have read: “That’s a little much, weirdo.” Oops. But, you see, I think it was the only time he’s ever looked at me, so it was really odd. (I should say, the first and last time he ever looked at me, probably.)

Friday, I was really appreciating my blog. Compared to each of the other blogs I read, mine is pretty sucky, but, hey, it’s mine. I’ve been really bashing my husband for the last few months, for good reason I think, but it ain’t working. No use in beating a dead horse. My own blog kinda turned me on to my own man again. I’m gonna try and be nice.

AT A HAPPY-Birthday-Happy-Hour Friday evening, I ran into a woman, named Elena, who went to high school with me. Now, we’ve seen each other at a lot of parties over the years – but we’ve hardly ever spoken. Why? We didn’t recognize each other! Not only because it's been more than 25 years (ouch) as she is older, but also because we’ve both changed our names! (She got married, and me? Well, hell, my name used to be (something like) Vig Schitzpeas. Wouldn’t you change it? There's a hint as to why I'm so screwed up!)

I couldn’t stay long, but we had a couple of drinks during which she asked if I had a partner. “Yes, Rolf and I have been together for 24 years,” I said. Perplexed, she asked; "Have I met him before?" That was the most embarrassing. See, I’d been introduced to her time and time again as Elena Whoever – but I had to tell her that she’d probably never met Rolf BECAUSE, not only did I not realize that we were in choir and shows together, but also I COULD NEVER REMEMBER HER NAME! Oh, man. I turned beet red. Luckily – I had to leave to see Urinetown, so it was over quick.

ROLF MET ME at Signature Theatre after the happy hour. I remember walking toward the theater and seeing him standing there, looking so wonderful. And he was looking around for me, and when he saw me, he flashed that smile that just melts my hard heart. Signature has a couple of gay pride nights for subscibers with an after show party, and this was one of them. So we were comfortable and flirtatious with each other. It was sweet. I wish we got along like that all the time. If he could just keep me from hardening my heart then we could be like that. Plus I'd live longer and have more sex. . .but no mattter.

URINETOWN was exceptional: one of the best I’ve ever seen anywhere! At the party afterward with Tomas and Sonny, having wine, and talking to those we knew from the cast like Donna Miglaccio and Steve Cupo, and others; I was bubbling over with effusive praise for everything about the show. I was telling Rafi, the volunteer coordinator, that I wish I had been an understudy in this show - not because I wanted to be in it, but because I want to direct it! If I had been an understudy, I could have watched rehearsals and seen how they came up with such exceptional characterizations, fine musicianship, and inventive set design. (I really hope you see it. It closes on 10/16. Don't be detered because it is sold out. Take the minor risk of getting there an hour early and get in the cancelation line. I'll see you there.)

Anyway, back to Rafi who was drinking with Rolf, Sonny, Tomas, and me. I said that I was going to see the show many more times so I could study every aspect of the production. I got really excited thinking about it, before I realized that it would really cost a lot of money. I mused that I needed to find a way to get in for free, and Rafi said I could always volunteer! Furthermore, he needed two more volunteers for the matinee Saturday (the following) afternoon.

So I signed right up! Then I stepped outside and called my sister, Joy, and got her to volunteer too! I was just bursting with delight. I mean, wow, I was so proud of myself (it doesn't take a lot, does it?) Just that I made the decision to go, and got it to happen, not to mention truly seeing a brilliant show two days in a row; just made me so giddy that I couldn't contain it.

IT WAS SO nice to hang out with Joy. She had invited us to dinner last week, on Saturday, and I was feeling pretty bad that we didn't go. So this was good in two ways: free tickets to a fabulous show more than made up for blowing her off, and we got to hang out with each other while doing something fun!

We managed the concessions, which was totally laid back before the show. Since this matinee was part of the show's extension, most ticket holders had general admission tickets, rather than reserved seats which are only for subscribers, so they all stood in line and didn't ask for any refreshments which left Joy and I the chance to visit. Also, I saw Uncle Ernie and one of the soldiers from Tommy, plus the very cute Serge Seiden from Studio Theatre among many friends and aquaintenances. And it was fun for me that Joy was there as I was in my element, you know?

Our seats for the show were absolute center stage in the front row. I was just as giddy at the beginning of the show as I had been the night before at the after party. I was delighted to have gotten Joy there. It means so much to me when people trust me, and as a result they have a really great time. And as I've said: Urinetown is the most incredible show I have ever seen. (It goes right to the top echelon of other "most incredible shows I've ever seen" along with Tommy, Les Miz, Dreamgirls, A Chorus Line, SideShow, etc.)

We had such a good time. Managing the concessions at intermission was hysterical maddness. Of course, no one knew that we were volunteers, and that we've been thrown in to figure it out. So, we've got this line of a couple of hundred people asking for wine, beer, snacks, etc. And we're trying to find it all, figure out how much each item costs, then do math and handle money on top of it. My sister and I were just having a great time working the crowd and being a team. Plus all the people who were like "Oh Hi Vig! How have you been?" And I'm like: "Cool dude, what can I get you?"

Sitting on the front row of the theater, by the way, meant that all the paper that drops or gets thrown at the audience wound up in our laps and down our shirts. It was a total hoot! (When I got home and was naked in preparation for a nap, I still had pieces of green tissue paper stuck to me, and it was all over the floor.)

THAT NIGHT, SATURDAY, Mrs. Walker (not her real name of course. She was my wife in Tommy. I am hereby shortening her name to M.Walker,) threw a dinner party in my honor. To celebrate my winning all the awards, and also to introduce me to her closest friends; she had Rolf and I over for a beautiful, and most elegant evening. As I'm writing this, it's been almost a week, but I can still close my eyes and remember the candle lights on the garden deck, and a fire in the chimnea, as we had martinis, wine, cheese, and olives. We ate inside. She used her fine china and even had gold chargers that plates were placed on. Dinner was themed to encourage Rolf and I to go to Italy next year for our 25th anniversary. Butternut Squash Soup; Gorgonzola, Pear, and Rasberry Salad; Spinach Gnocci with Pancetta Butter Sauce, Roast Veal, and a Ameretto Flan. I'm not kidding you. She made all that in my honor. Wow!

And I was a good guest too! Since I had checked out my blog on Friday, some of my stories were in better order in my head than they ever had been. So, I beleive I did a very good job at entertaining her husband and other guests. By the way, the other guests were her two very best friends. It was as if we were being introduced to her inner circle. I really hope they accept us in, although I'm not worthy, I think Rolf is, and I'm kinda cool. . on paper, if you know what I mean. One friend was a cinematographer, and the other a professional jewelry maker. When they ask me what I do for a living, I say "Not Much." Yuck. (Even if it makes my therapist laugh; I'm still hoping to be a late bloomer.)

JUST A FEW HOURS later, I was in the choir loft. You know, I gave a darn good thank you speach at the awards the week before. But as I sure did pray alot through the whole production of Ruthless, (I prayed "Oh pleeeeaaaasssseeee God! Help me; I'm losing my mind!") I had really meant to "Give God the Glory" as I was taught as a good little Gay Southern Baptist Boy. (There's another hint.) Instead, I found myself saying prayers in the choir loft and crying.

I cried through the hymns, and would you believe it, they even had communion that day. Not the Southern Baptist kind where they bring you thimble-fulls of grape juice in your pew. But the type of communion where you have to walk up the isle, and tear off a piece of bread, dip it in the wine and return to your seat. I cried through all that too. I was just happy and very grateful.

THEN PUCK AND Lori arrived. That's the best of all. They've sold their house in Phoenix, and they're staying with me!!! I had to pick them up at Union Station. The Army 10-miler (a race) was going on downtown, and the 14th Street Bridge was closed to accomodate the runners. Plus, adding to the maddness, there was a suspicious package (read: possible bomb) found under that bridge, so they changed the race map mid race - sending all the traffic and the runners into pandemonium.

Well, it was just another beautiful day. I was in B.Emmy's Hummer, lost in the city because I couldn't use my usual route. At one time I found I was sitting next to the Smithsonian's American Indian Museum, and I just thought "Wow!" It's gorgeous, and unlike any architecture I've ever seen. I've really got to get in there!

Once I figured out where Union Station was, I found them waiting for me. We immediately took Lori to bunch at Mr. Henry's Capitol Hill, which was a perfect. . . aw hell the whole day was a perfect introduction to living in DC.

The best, the very best was after our nap, we went to the Kennedy Center (that's the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts for you out-of-towner's) to see the Chinese Accrobats that were performing as part of the Festival of China. Rolf was at the Redskins game, and B. Emmy was working at the Kennedy Center itself. As a matter of fact, B. Emmy had called me just as I was getting ready to sit down for church in the morning - got to love the cell phones - and said that he had seen the run through of the show, and that it was magnificient. It was a free show, and although I had heard that tickets were required, and they were all gone, I was still going. But he said that tickets were actually still available, and that I MUST bring the girls.

So, as I'm pulling into the parking garage, there's a sign on the attendant's booth that says "Chineese Accrobat Show is Sold Out". Who cares. Because I'm thinking "It's a free show. People are not going to show up." So we pay the $15 dollars (!) to park, and go on up to find the sign up for cancelations. What we found instead, and this still pisses me off, were signs that said "There will be no stand-by line for the Chinese Accrobat Show." Why? What the hell? There's always a cancelation line. Besides, for a free show, people are not going to value the tickets enough to actually show up, so the cast member's were going to be ill served with a house that couldn't possibly be more that 80% full.

Pissed, I called B.Emmy. He was back stage assisting with all the multiple Festival of China events. He was appaled. First he tried to get us some tictets himself. But when that didn't work, he told us to meet him outside the Eisenhower Theater stage door. So, Puck, Lori, and I search for this door which turned out to be outside a stone's throw from the Watergate Hotel. Now, mind you, it's all beautiful. It was a beautiful day, the Kennedy Center overlooks the Potomac River, the Watergate, Georgetown, and there were planes heading toward National Airport. (Please don't call it Reagan Airport, we won't know what you're talking about, or if we do, we'll hate you.)

So, again, we get over to the door and B.Emmy's sitting there with several of the accrobats (yum), and on the terrace below is a Chinese Festival. Food Vendors, music, jugglers, best of all there was a bar. So, now, Lori has moved to DC, just that very day, in hopes of landing a job in the White House, or the courts or something, right? Well, B.Emmy says: "Well, I don't know what that is all about with the tickets. So, I'm just going to take you in the back door."

It's too perfect. Well, for Puck and me. We've snuck into so many movies together - though most of them were when we were in High School. She's lived in Boston and Phoenix for the last 15 years, but there was one time when she was visiting her Mom in Woodbridge when we say 3 and a little more movies in one day. The "little more" was a bit of the beginning of Shreck, I think. But once we snuck in, I started laughing so hard before we got a seat, that we had to sneak back out. So, I was just jumping up and down at the chance to sneak into the Kennedy Center!

Lori? Not so much. "I'm a god-damned officer of the court. There's no way I can get caught sneaking into the Kennedy Center! I'll never get a job!" We were lucky Rolf wasn't there, because without any support, we dragged her along with us. She was in a panic.

So, B.Emmy has his Kennedy Center ID on, and at half-hour before the show he says: "Ok, here we go" and Lori starts sweating. We walk in the stage door, (I swear) and a security guard stops us, or more accurately we stop for the security guard.

To B.Emmy, "Are these folks signed in?"

And as if it made perfect sense, B.Emmy said "Oh, no. I'm just taking them to the front of the house."

"Ok," the security guard seemed to think. And he walked over to the glass security booth, where a female guard is with the sign-in sheets. He leans in to her and says (I kid you not)

"This fellow works here and he's just taking these folks to the front of the house. DO YOU WANT TO JUST BYPASS THAT WHOLE SECURITY THING?"

"Yeah, whatever. . . " and she waved us on.

Can you believe it? In Washington, DC? "Do you want to just by-pass that whole security thing?" Oh Shit.

Lori was about to have a stroke. I was appaled, but once we stepped into the Eisenhower Theater right in front of the first row, and next to the stage; I just laughed and laughed. No one bothered us. And the show was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.!

ROLF AND I had a nice time over those days, and right up to and including Wednesday night. We even hung together well through a Bridge Night with our friend and her boyfriend who has cerebral palsy. It was all sweet. You know how I love him. But I can harden my heart to him so fast, it could just cause me to die on the spot. Sometimes I wish it would. Tomorrow is our 24th Anniversary, and we haven't spoken a kind word since before bed on Wednesday.

Our very first dance was to Luther Vandross singing "Never to Much." Today they played him singing ""I'd rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else. I'd rather have the one who holds my heart."

It's true.

Thanks for dropping by! I love comments! Even if it's just to point out the overuse and misuse of semi-colons, feel free.

Vig

PS Running spell check and trying to fix punctuation problems seem to be impossible on this post. Sorry.