Hallelujah anyway. . .

I've been kicked in the butt. The contract I work on is not going to be renewed. There are a hundred people here who don't know what to do. We were told the worst case scenerio keeps us employed until February. I don't know how they figure that. I hate this job. I found out this morning and the news made me very happy. Now I am scared.

I want to win the lottery, to be laid off with full compensation, not offered a job with the company who pays me; and I want to go back to school full time. I have a year and a half left. Then I will have a. . . nothing. It's conservatory training for actors. If I went full time, could I finish in 9 months? How long does unemployment last? How many more roommates can I get. . .?

My niece, Shannon (24), is having a nervous breakdown. And not because she married C.F. Buttcrack. She cried all weekend long. And on Sunday night, while staying at her bosses house in order to make an early flight together, she had a panic attack and had to have her mother come pick her up . . . at 3AM. What's up with that? Where was her husband, Buttcrack? Joy had to go pick her up? And not Buttcrack? And she spent the night at Joy's house at least one night this weekend, crying; and she spent another night at her bosses house? Could there be trouble in Buttcrack Land? That's the best case scenerio. The worst is my constant fear since she was a teenager: that she is bi-polar.

Meanwhile, while Shannon was on her way to get medical intervention. . .

My soon to be ex-brother in law left a voice mail message for my nephew, Russ (23), saying that he wants nothing to do with him. . .he's divorcing the whole family. . ."tell your sister that if I ever see either of you again, I'll knock your block off."

So, even though Shannon is now sedated, that's the news she gets and she continues to sob. . . at my Sister's house. And Russ is sobbing downstairs. My sister, Joy, says she feels like she's in the psych ward. What should she do? The divorce could be final by December. I told her to hold her children close and that's all.

Where's the light? "In all things give thanks. . ." how's that?

I am thankful that Rolf loves me.
I am thankful that I am in therapy.
I am thankful that my nephew is having lunch with me today.
I am thankful that my neice has found she cannot settle for this soul sucking job.
I am thankful that Puck and Memae are here.
I am thankful that I am making progress on the house.
I am thankful that Rolf is working on his self.
I am thankful that Bemmy has started a BLOG.
I am thankful that this job will end.
I am thankful that we have two room-mates who pay us.
I am thankful that Fall is here.
I am thankful that I love my parents.
I am thankful that my sister and I are taking ball-room dancing classes.
I am thankful that I am
I am thankful that I am
I am thankful
I am