What a Wonderful World

I hired someone to remove the tree. Considering that I had bids as high as $12,000; I think $2,700 is fabulous!

We're trying to book our room for Rome. I need that done today so I can set up a tour for one afternoon. After that, we are in much better shape. I need rooms in Sorrento, Florence, and Venice; plus I have to figure out how to get from one to another on the train.

It is stressful! But I am so excited.

Last night, Rolf and I were trying to find a room, and he said something, jokingly dismissive about Vatican City. So, I got the tour book out and started reading him the description of Michelangelo's painting. "One of the wonders of the world," it said.

I couldn't finish reading it though. My throat got all closed up, I couldn't breath, and I started crying.

He just laughs. But he had to finish reading it.

We've been together for 25 years! Twenty-five years.

It really is wonderful.

I Have Confidence in Confidence Alone

So;

I bought some maps of Italy. One for home, one for my office, to help plan the itinerary for our Anniversary trip to Italy. (Oh my god! We leave a week from tomorrow! I have to learn to speak Italian - today!) The map was printed with half of the country on each side, oh!; and it was all in Italian, too. I kept looking at "Firenze" and thinking "Damn, that's where Florence is supposed to be." So, I had to use Google to find out that Firenze is Florence, and other cities, too, that had different names. I took both maps and taped them together so I'd have one map of Italy, and then used a marker to highlight the places we're thinking of going.

And that's as far as I've gotten.

oh help.

All the best,
Vig

despite what you see, I have confidence in me. . .

eh?

Which is bigger . . .

. . . the downed tree? . . . or my waist line?!

GRRRRRR.

More about Hildi's meeting with the President

Hilde Halley talks to the president about her husband's death in Afganistan, article in the Washington Post.

Just call me "La-La"

I am so excited that we're going to Italy.

No, we don't have tickets yet - but we have them selected and they have to be bought by tomorrow!

Now, I'm trying to get tours and special evenings set up.

For instance, our 25th Anniversary is on Sunday 10/8. We want to walk around the "Fountains of Rome" after dinner. So, where do we have our 25th Anniversary Dinner?

Oh, I am so excited. Rolf is settling the tickets, which is all I need to go ahead and get the trip planned. We're flying into Rome, and out of Florence. And we're going for TWO WEEKS! I haven't had a two week vacation in 10 years!

Oh my lord. . . I'm going to Italy!!!

La-la

Yay-Bye!

Follow up on Patrick Damon's death

There's more news about my friend who died in Afganistan. I don't know what to make of it yet.

Here: http://www.mainelincolncountynews.com/index.cfm?ID=21240

Day Sets Goal in Son's Memory to Keep Maine Soldiers Safe

I'M Putting All My Eggs in One Basket

Hi.

Tree Update - estimates are in the $6,000 range.

Basement, 'harboring the must of centuries' - I thought the tree had caused some kind of water or sewer damage. So, a new panic: not only the tree, Italy, the house flip, my folks. . . but I'm thinking we have to dig up the basement. I check with the neighbors to find out their sewer line stories, and tell them of my worry. . . Eventually only to discover that d'Ohgy has been peeing on the door mat. At least it's on the tile floor. Oh, and it didn't cost $6,000 to clean that up either.

Italy Update - we're leaving (to celebrate our 25th anniversary in Rome) in 16 days. We do not have plane tickets or hotel reservations yet. And I have to learn to speak Italian today. Or tomorrow.

Gay Day at King's Dominion Saturday Night - with Puck and Memae. We practically ran from one roller coaster to another, and hardly stood in any line. Wow! So very very cool! I kissed Rolf at Kings Dominion! And we held hands!

House Flip - I don't even know what's happening.

Dinner with Mom and Dad - Sunday. Mom looks good. You'd never guess that she's fighting the cancer battle. It's my Dad that's looking so old. He's 76. Seventy-six. Damn. Even though he's walking with a cane now, because he's so wobbly; he got on the roof of the lake house to seal the flashing around the chimney.

Afternoon Delight - Monday - really, if I wait until bed time - I fall asleep. So, I turned our 1950's Italy Music Cd up loud, opened the sliding doors of the sunroom; and then I opened the sliding doors of our bedroom. Sun was shining through the curtains. Italian 50's music was coming in from all around. And there were hugs and kisses.

All the best,
Vig

"I'm putting all my eggs in one basket;
I'm betting everything I've got on you."

Tell Me It's Not True

I'm feeling better. Man, yesterday; mmm hm! such a headache. Quite possibly it was due to ragweed - but I think it was stress.

Rolf and I really had a good weekend. We had different things to do on Saturday, but Saturday night we hosted my friend, Mrs. Walker (do you remember her? She was my co-star in Tommy, and she's hot.) The three of us had cocktails at home, then drove in her convertible to take in dinner and a movie. Now, when she arrived, I had a cute tree guy at the house, to give me an estimate on removing the fallen oak. . . So while she and I are having martinis, I hear the storm door open and close but no one came in. Yeah, the tree guy?, left the estimate and ran. I'd have run too. He estimated that it will cost $5,800 to remove the tree. (Please note that I just edited multiple curse words.)

Whatever.

So, Mom and Dad, Joy, Rolf and I had a pretty frank discussion about end of life issues should my Mom "not survive," at lunch on Sunday. That's what she says. . .

"Should I not survive. . . your Daddy will need to sell the lake house because there won't be enough money to pay the mortgage. I've written down all the accounts, and where all payments are deducted from. . . someone will need to help manage that because your Dad gets too confused."

My sister is planning on moving in with my Dad and taking care of him. And I don't want that, for no reason other than I don't want her to give up her life or freedom. But, Daddy's going to need someone to share the house with him, and the cost. It turns out that Mom going first is a huge financial loss for him. She would have been much better off, if he'd gone first. Well, obviously - but I mean financially.

Well. Mom's still ok. I mean, she's not doing great. . . but it's going to get a whole lot worse.

Probably.

But, I hope not.

Mom laughed as she told of talking to her brother - the one who won't be in the same room with me - and who I happen to look just like - She says that they talked for a while, and then a little while later he called back and said:

"You Lied to Me." Mom thought it was funny. "You said you were feeling ok, and now I hear from your daughter that you're not doing well at all." And Mamma, she just laughed and said

"Well, what can I say?"

Rolf held me a long time in the kitchen after everyone had gone home. But, I didn't cry. That's probably why I got such a huge headache. I should have cried the stress away.

Well, what can I say?

All the best,
Vig


Tell Me It's Not True
Blood Brothers

Tell me it's not true,
Say it's just a story,
Something on the news.

Tell me it's not true,
Though it's here before me,
Say it's just a dream,
Say it's just a scene,
From an old movie of years ago,
From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe,

Say it's just some clowns,
Two players in the limelight,
And bring the curtain down.

Say it's just two clowns,
Who couldn't get their lines right,
Say it's just a show on the radio,
That we can turn over and start again,
That we can turn over; it's just a game.

Tell me it's not true,
Say I only dreamed it,
And morning will come soon.

Say you didn't mean it,
Tell me it's not true,
Say it's just pretend,
Say it's just the end,
Of an old movie from years ago,
From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe.

Tell me it's not true,
Say I only dreamed it,
And morning will come soon.

Tell me it's not true
Say you didn't mean it.
Say it's just pretend
Say it's just the end
Of an old movie from long ago
From an old movie with Marilyn Monroe.

I am L. O. V. E. > stoned

hmm.

Yay! Not a good week; survived.

Yay.

Mother fucker.

Goddamn mother fuckin' tree - the bit of root ball I can see from this spot, doesn't look any near as fucking good as the beautiful thick rugged veiny oak that stood between me and the lake. Big fuckin' mess.

Oh, and Mom's sick. yeah, and um, well, shit.

I feel bad about Rolf - great week followed by bad . . .

_________

(At Milton - the tree - hadn't mentioned the rain, but it was a bitch. Although, well, {sigh} I like the rain.)

I guess I just like bitches, too: take Rolf, for instance. Oh he's so cute. C.U.T.E. cute; don't for a minute imagine that I'm going to say something nice, but he's cute. No, really. He is nice. I'm passive/aggressive and drunk. . .but nice, he's nice too: but well, an ass. Not to put too fine a point on it. Why can't he behave?

Why can't I be someone else? Damn, I wish I was witty and quick. Then I could tell him: "go to hell", with a laugh. But, we just get on the wrong side of the translation. You know, he says "THAT SHOULD REALLY BE RETURNED TO THE DRY-CLEANERS." And I'm like: "you muther fucker" before I can even blink., You know? Oh, it's so damn fast.

"I can go from Hostess to Bitch in 30 seconds." from some APRON, I saw: Rehoboth.

__________

WHEN?!, were we at the beach? How could it have been so long ago? What's today.? Monday. Ah damn. It was six days ago. It seems like yesterday, but with so much pain over night, that yesterday seems like six days ago.

stand by - a music change is gonna do a worlda good. my dog is so weird.

__________

mm it wasn't all bad. It's not all that bad now . . . but maybe it is. I'm not suicidal or anything; I think I'm doing right well. But it sucks,

speaking of which, there was some fun on Friday. poor Rolf, you know I brought him a present, this CD I'm listening too. . . Bob Schneider. . . "La la la: lala la la lah"

"It's just not right," Rolf said, "to be depressed and lonely in my own house."

__________

Then things were good. I'm sorry. What can I do? Tuesday, on the way home from Milton / Rehoboth, was supremely difficult. We'd had such a great time, but, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, you'd say. I'd say he woke up in pain, and decided to be a pain to me as well.

That same night he apologized. But it had been a long and trying day, with the 3 hour ride home and, the rain, and: the hoses hanging from underneath his expensive frucking car. . . mmm. . .so, he felt that he needed to apologize a few times. He said:

"Are you very angry?"

"I'm not angry,' I said. "I'm fed up." And then all these "Blah-blah" blah's followed.

So he fell bad, and I didn't mean to do that. . . still he thought things were better now. HELL,they were, I got to say my piece, . . he was lovely. . but by Friday I couldn't figure out how to be with him. So I hid.

Ah. . . good times. But, that night, and Friday night; not too bad, and touching, respectively.

__________

And a lovely evening, was a world of comfort in the following sidenotes; my sister, Joy, called at 8:15 Saturday morning, realizing, and saying out loud for the first time: "Oh, Vig. . I just don't think she's going to make it."

No, probably not. We have some time, still a chance we have a lot of time, but for sure, not as much as we'd like, I told her. . . Not as much as we'd like.

So, I invited her over to dinner on Sunday. I said the folks were coming too, why not join in. Of course, I had to call the folks right quick afterward to see if they had any memory of me asking them to dinner a few days ago. . you know, to see the "Miracle of the Tree". . ?. . . yeah, fuck.

sorry for the language. . .

I was still kinda - oh no, I was TOTALLY asleep when she called at 8:15 Saturday morning. And sleeping on the couch in the sun-room I might add. oy. veh.

_______

Whatever, what else. . .saturday was JAMMED PACKED. I finally "Got Up" a couple of hours after she called. . . with such a hangover. I tell you what. No I won't tell you.

_________

So Much More

We had a week of ex-lovers - I swear. First Carol stayed with us while in town for a business trip. She is Puck's ex. Then we went to Milton / Rehoboth to visit with Paxton, only to discover that his ex - Hunter - was there with another of his exes besides. . . did you catch that?

oy vey.

We had some good times. I had a mental list of things I wanted to write down before I forgot them . . . but I've forgotten them. Mostly. What I remember in list:

Party in Milton in their fantastic screen room, where I listened to Bob Mould's "Shine Your Light" for the first time outside of my own sun-room.

Paxton called us and left a message on the phone saying: "Chirrun! Your Mama is drrrrrruuunnk. She's drruunnk! If she can get the car started, sheez'l be home soon."

Some guy gave me a joint.

Nice beach day with some friend of Hunters. Name is Craig, I think. Ran into Leon, who's phone rang with the theme from "Sex and the City", he answered saying "Miranda?"

My soundman and music director had a happy hour for us. They were so happy to see us. They wished we had gone to Poodle Beach, but we only go to North Shores because fat people are allowed there. Besides, that's where the real men go.

We bought stuff - antiquing. "Hi, I'm in my 40's, and I have cash. I'll take that, and that. . "

Bemmy finished his move while we were away. He called to ask us if we knew our Oak Tree had fallen down. We didn't. He sent pictures to our cell phone showing that the house wasn't hit or damaged. So, I celebrated, thinking that it was going to cost about $4,000 less to have it removed than to have it cut down and removed. . . eh. . . not so much. (I'm in my 40's, and I had some cash. . . )

Also, it was a busy week leading up to Labor Day. I had to put in a new budget, and it included a nice raise for me! And it was all approved! Yay Me!

Oh! Oh! OH! After that cocktail party- Rolf and I went to Poodle Beach at Sunset. It was nearly chilly. Rolf started making fun of that little baby on Family Guy, Stewie Griffin. . . I have no idea what he was saying, but it was all I could do to keep from falling into a fetal position down on the wet sand in an attempt to quell the pain in my sides from laughing so hard.

It was our first sight of the ocean in a year. So, we walked from Poodle Beach all the way to Victoria's restaurant, where we ate fine food, sitting on the boardwalk, thinking "I'm in my 40's and I have cash, I'll have that and that and that." While Jeff Irwin played and showtunes, most of which nearly made me choke on my tears. (I'm like that you know.)

One song, *Not What You See* from Barry Manilow's Here at the Mayflower, oy my god . . . I mean come on . . . Rolf and I are being waited upon, hand and foot by tuxedoed waiters at the surf's edge, one month away from our 25th anniversary, and Jeff's singing:

I see you looking
at the two of us
and what do you see
the oldest couple at the Mayflower
Esther and Me

I'll bet you think
that what you're looking
at is all we are
two old people forgetting
the way we were

Sonny, no one is
what they look like
everyone's so much more
Sonny, no one is
what they look like
and we're not what
you see that's for sure

and when I look at her now
I still see her young and beautiful
she's my girl and I'm her Joe
and we're not what you see

I'll bet you think that what you're looking at
is all we are
two old people
stumbling through the days
Sonny, no one is what
they look like
everyone's so much more
Sonny, no one is what
they look like
and we're not what you see
that's for sure. . .

It's a song sung by Joe, 83, about Esther, 80, the oldest couple at the Mayflower.

One day

That will be me

If it wasn't for the sound of the surf, the music, the tourists on the boardwalk stopping to listen: all you'd have heard was me, trying to catch my breath and keep the sob caught in my throat from escaping.

Rolf thinks it is so cute when I am overcome. I could just strangle him. He looks at me, and smiles, blue eyes twinkling, his smile constrained by a touch of empathy, and I can't get mad that he's laughing at me too.

It was a very good day.

It makes up for each and every other bad day.

It just takes one. And it's all worth it.

All the best,
Vig

Labor Day

Wow - it's a busy life

We returned from a wonderful weekend in Milton / Rehoboth to find our huge red oak uprooted. We hope this is good news. It didn't destroy the sunroom, although it could have.

Anyway, all is fine here. Rolf and I had a nice time away, a beautiful day at the beach, but no "alone" time. We had neighbor's over to see the miracle of the tree after we got home last night, and I'm having an insurance adjustor over for dinner tonight. Tomorrow is the beginning of the choir season - and I may just skip it. Rolf and I need an evening to ourselves - mostly since the ride home didn't count as "alone- time" because he was so irratiting. . . well. hmm. I'm being counted on to be at choir, and I don't really know what's up with him. I don't know what I'll do.

So, I'll post some pics, since I don't know what to write.

All the best,
Vig