Disorder

You know I haven't had a cigarette since August 13th? Before that I was drinking and smoking. Now, at least, I'm just drinking. I had about 5 yesterday. Two vodka and soda's, and three vodka and cranberry. . . did I have red wine too? I think I did.

What the heck is that about? It's expensive and high in calories. Plus, I'm on an anti-depressant; so the alcohol is dangerous to my liver and also counteracts against the antidepressant. My doctor said that I should cut back on my drinking, I don't have to cut it out: however, I'm not supposed to drink more than 1-3 drinks, and not every day!

I drink when I'm bored, when I'm frustrated, when I'm worried, when I have to *sparkle* (unless it is on stage). . .

Mom has further tests tomorrow to look at the mass they found in her chest. I expect it is cancer again, but I hope it isn't. I'm glad my sister and I are taking a dance class together right now. I wish we could afford to continue doing it, especially if Mom is sick. It would be a nice distraction for us, as well as a dedicated time where we can support each other.

Even though I drank as much as I did yesterday, there was a small miracle none-the-less. Yesterday - eating only a boiled egg for breakfast, a huge green salad with herbs for lunch, and mustard greens and potatoes with turkey chorizo sausage cooked in homemade chicken broth for dinner - I lost two pounds! How did that happen?

Yay me!