Forever, Plaid Jesus Christ: Superstar!

Life's jumbled and chaotic. Mom is sick. Tomas has to have a corneal transplant. My job is ending; I may be unemployed by spring. My partner is constantly surprised when I take every opportunity to retaliate for the trauma he's caused me. I said I'd support him as he tries to start another business; but, if he takes the stress out on me, will it be the final straw? I believe that we will be happy together again one day; does it have to be after the start-up is running (or run into the ground?) We're overjoyed at the life and home we've created; what is it going to take so that we can talk? Reservations for our Fall vacation to Italy, to celebrate our 25th anniversary, need to be made in January. I'm trying not to drink to much. I quit smoking, but have gained 10 lbs. My goal of being completely settled in the house by Thanksgiving will not be met, but we have made great progress. The revised date, by which I hope to have everything organized, painted, and decorated, is my birthday, Jan. 28. My sister's divorce should be final on December 12. There are too many people living in my house. I've promised myself that I would take the next class at Studio Theatre starting in late January, but I just found out that Reston Players are auditioning for Forever Plaid in two weeks. I wish I could lose 10 lbs by then, it makes me look younger; but with Thanksgiving coming, I doubt it is possible. I'd been planning on auditioning for Jesus Christ, Superstar in Mid-December; but as of this morning, I have changed my mind. Many plans were made before we suspected Mom's relapse. WATCH Award Nominations will be announced on Jan. 15, and the awards are on Feb. 26; we could win. Why does that scare me so? I'm on an anti-depressant, and in therapy but still depressed. I must add exercise and remove alcohol from equation.

Priorities are to fix my relationship. Be with my family and make a difference and ease the burden of Mom's illness. and then all that other stuff. yeah, and then all that stuff that's about me.

hmmm.