It's the darndest thing - 2

I had to tell Puck first. She was in the sun room, waiting to take us to the airport.

"We're not going to Italy today. Rolf's project is in trouble, and if he doesn't get it fixed, he'd probably get fired. Basically, he'd have to quit his job in order to go. We might be able to go over the weekend. . . or sometime."

I left messages for the travel agent. Puck said she'd better get going or she'd get stuck in traffic. I told her I thought that was a good idea, because I really wanted to be alone. I canceled the hotel reservations for Rome and Sorrento. . . and waited for the travel agent.

Then I called an acquaintance to see if he had any pot. But no luck.

I sat in near silence looking at the trees for most of the next four hours.

My friend, 2JB, who's the wife of Rolf's boss (who's also our friend), well she called me and she said she had just found out what happened, and that when she found out she cried and she figured that she was crying with me, so I should know. . That was nice.

I guess it was sometime after 4. . . Rolf forwarded an email from the JBs, saying

"J and I are thinking of you today. As you may expect, she's
reminding me what the trip means to you guys. . "

That's when I cried. I had only just stopped when Bemmy called.

"Oh, my God, what are you doing home?"

"We're not going today" I tried to say
"What? When are you going?"
"Someday. One day"
"What?"
"One Day" I sobbed, "bye."
and hung up the phone.

_________

Of course, Rolf is distraught as hell at this point. He stay's at work unti 7, working on a draft reply to the threat from the client; all while trying to figure out how to salvage our anniversary celebration, and knowing it's only been four or five months since I last battled suicidal ideation, worrying about my sanity. Though when he calls me and cross examines me about how many little drinkies I've had (none), or what pills I had taken (none), or if I'd been "crying my eyes out" (I hadn't); I wasn't feeling very forgiving.