Used Porn for Sale

Friday.

I asked Rolf to come home from work early. Early for him is anytime before 6. He knows, and agrees, that I am fed up with his work schedule of 11 – 7, which often means that he doesn’t get home until 7:40. At other times he works from home because he is too embarrassed to show up at his office at lunch time.

Of course, one of the reasons I don’t like him to be home when I get home is that he can see how early I start drinking; and me, I think it’s a great day when my first drink is at 4:45. Another reason I don’t like him keeping that schedule is because just I miss him. I need to go to bed at 10 to make it to work by 7. If he’s not going in until 11, then he stays up until 1, and it begins to feel that we might just as well be roommates.

________

On Friday I was thinking of the WATCH Awards, our local community theater equivalent of the Oscars. They were to happen on Sunday. I was coordinating the entertainment, planning the technical rehearsal, as well as presenting an award.

And I was also reflecting on my failed intention to not drink on Thursday night.

“Ah, I might as well just have a small one” as I watched the sun set on Lake Accotink . . .

“Or two” as I lit candles and oil lamps as dusk began to turn to night

“And instead of opening a bottle of wine, I’ll just stop after this one . . .” as I poured my third.

That’s how the thought process went.

At 9:30, after four or five super strong vodka tonics, I looked at the clock wondering if I had time for another before Rolf got home from basketball. And I wondered if it was ok to have another drink a half hour before I planned on going to bed.

. . . and I cheer chanted

“DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!” while going to the bar to make another vodka tonic.

___________

I was disgusted. And, as usual, I spent much of my work day serfing (if I can use that as a verb) the web. I saw this: (12 minute video of Craig Ferguson’s monologue on why he’s not talking about Brittney Spears of all things.)

And then, while searching for a local gay A.A. meeting, I found this: A.A. – The Big Book – On Line.

__________

Wayellllll . . . I watched it, and I read the book . . . and I really think I’ve got to quit drinking. I don’t want to admit that it’s forever. I don’t even know how to tell my glamorous hot bod hard drinking buddy and former co-star, Mrs. Walker, that we’ll come to dinner on the 30^th, but I won’t be drinking. And I waffle and think,

"well, I can’t cut it out forever. I’ll just have to drink that night, and detox again the next day. . ."
As if I could.

_________

Rolf did get home early. I didn’t discuss any of this with him. I just told him I wasn’t drinking for the weekend, and probably through my nephew’s wedding (this Saturday.)

And what a great time we had. We went downtown to the discount porn shop that Jimbo and DurbanBud have been talking about. Even though we didn’t know where it was, we just went on a joyride until we found it. (It’s a leetle crazy in there, and way odd to have someone giving you a hard sell on used porn!) And then we took a walk down 17^th street, and actually went into JR’s (it’s one of the gay bars on the strip.) But that was just because we had to pee, plus, we haven’t been in a bar since they’d banned smoking. So, we found out that it is wonderful to be in a bar with no smoking, we found the loo, and we left.

I don’t know what to do in a bar if I’m not there to get snockered.

I’m on a diet. (12 lbs lost.) The cucumber slices and hummus I’d had for dinner had left plenty of room for whole other dinner at Hanks Oyster Bar!

It was very romantic. We were laughin’ and talkin’, makin’ eyes at one another. Oh, I had the most delicious Bouillabaisse (is that really how you spell it? Goodness gracious that’s too many letters. Anyhow, that’s seafood stew for anyone not equipped with a dictionary.) It had mussels – which I’ll tell you that I don’t much like, and mean it – even though I ate every last one. And huge shrimp, perfect scallops, and whitefish in a fennel broth. It was heavenly good! And since I didn’t have my usual two martinis and half-carafe of wine, it was less than $50 for two!
_________

Saturday – eh – fixed a couple of toilets / replaced light bulbs / got new tuxedo pants because I haven’t lost enough weight / oh! And we walked around the whole lake! That took a couple of hours. We really have been getting along well. He’s been making me very happy. We didn’t spend the evening together though; I had to go see You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown that I’d done the props for.

And I did it sober. And even though the show was not outstanding in anyway, and sometimes outright hideous; I still had a good time.

_________