Oops. I did it again.

My last class before final scenes was last night. It was an early class, starting at 4:30 instead of 6 this time. I left work at 3:45, and was parked at 14th and P by 4. It's amazing how close I am to downtown, especially when there's no traffic. Well, being early . . . this is so stupid . . . I thought one little martini won't hurt. Perhaps it wouldn't have if I had gotten it from the 1409 Playbill Cafe, but it was closed. I walked down to Hamburger Mary's just a block down 14th street, scooted up to the bar and ordered. I swear it was served in a bucket with a stem. It must have been a 12 oz martini. So, I slowly drank it, after a third, I paid my bill. . smoked. .drank it down to half, and left. On an empty stomach, it hit hard.

And I really fucked up in class. I'm a supporting character in a Hamlet scene, and I went up on my lines. I almost went up on my lines in my scenes from A Midsummer Night's Dream, but I made it through.

I'm feeling very stupid today. Rolf says I should just drink less. But that's like hearing 30% of an epiphany. What's the other 70%? I guess the 30% is knowing what to do, and the 70% is getting it done.

I'm close to getting it done aren't I? Won't it be soon when I drink less, smoke less, eat better, exercise more, and get into a size 32?

I drink less when I'm busy. Tommy rehearsals are going to keep me busy. One thing I'm glad about is that I was really thinking on having a beer before rehearsals . . . but I know better now. That was just one drink, and it really fucked me up.

Except for being psychotic, I liked myself better as a pothead than a drunk. Now I'm too old for all of it.

So - here's the deal. I'm going to get in shape this summer. Cut back the alcohol, the calories, get out and enjoy the park and the lake more, and work out. I want to be in a 32 by opening night. That's July 23. Also, I'm cheating on the high b natural I've got to hit. It's only a friggin 8th note, and I maybe giving it half that much time. Luckily, it should not sound pretty, but none-the-less, the smoking has got to stop.

Wish me luck.

Vig