Letter from home

Hi,

I'm doing fine. I said I'd get into therapy and start taking antidepressants, and I've done so. I haven't applied for any jobs though. I have set up a search agent to help me find jobs to apply for, at least. I've been on the drugs for a week now. Also, I've hardly had any drinks. I think the drugs are making me not desire them. I had beer the first day, because the pills upset my stomach, so vodka would have hurt. But days 1-3, I had nothing. Day 4, I had three cocktails, even though I said I'd just have one. Odd, I didn't really want the first drink in a way. But my intent was strong. As if I was thinking, "I'm going to have a drink, and not wanting one isn't going to stop me!" I haven't had a drink since Monday. I have a guest coming for dinner tonight, so I expect I'll have wine tonight. But the rest of the weekend should be alcohol free.

Tommy is going well enough for community theater. It won't be a brilliant like the first time I did it. That's a picture from that production above. I wish there was something I could do to fix the problems in this show, but it's not my show. I don't get to direct. It's a unique situation having done the show before, and feeling a bit humiliated that this production won't come up to that standard. God knows, I've been in bad shows; but this is going to be a good one. So why am I anticipating feeling humiliated just because it isn't great? I'm "living in a negative prediction", and I've got to stop it. How?

be well,
Vig