Why Do I Live? Why Do I Die? Tell Me Why.

7:50 The stage manager says - we have three people in the audience right now. . they bought their tickets a little while ago, and went to get something to eat. We're holding the curtain for them and to see if anybody else shows up.
"Give them a rain check, and we'll just go get drinks," I say.

"No. Betty White* says we've sold the tickets, we have to go on."

The conversation was repeated at 8:o5, when she added that she presented the rain check idea, but it was shot down. Then, with us standing in the basement choir room (that only seats 12, by the way), there is knocking on the window.

"How do I get in there?" she says standing above us and bending down to look through the window. "I only found one door, and there is a church service."

"It's the next one down. There's no sign, but there is another door. . . "

And so, on we go. Peaking through the stage flat, I see eleven empty chairs, one senior lady sitting alone. I can't see to the left and center, but three more people come in the back as the pre-show sound effects get started.

At intermission, peaking through the kitchen door behind the audience (the pass through was closed. I thought opening it would bop the lighting operator in the head); I count nine people. Nine!

And, I had a great time. Performing for nine people.

I let Mrs. Betty White (blog nom-de-plume for the president, of the group,) I let her have it.

"How can we put people, invite people to be up on our stage, and not give them an audience?"

"Well, lots of groups are having problems. . . there are so many shows that are open, and we are pulling from the same audience, and people are watching the Kentucky Derby, and it's Cinco De Myo . . . We really need to sit down and think of ways to attract more people."

I said: "Ok. But at what point, after how much time if we don't succeed, do we say there is no point in keeping this alive?"

"Well, I just keep it running the best I can in hopes that something will come along . . ." she says with an affected wistfulness.

What am I doing?

- Where Do I Go -

Where do I go
Follow the river
Where do I go
Follow the gulls

Where is the something
Where is the someone
That tells me why I live and die

Where do I go
Follow the children
Where do I go
Follow their smiles

Is there an answer
In their sweet faces
That tells me why I live and die

Follow the wind song
Follow the thunder
Follow the neon in young lovers' eyes

Down to the gutter
Up to the glitter
Into the city
Where the truth lies

Where do I go
Follow my heartbeat
Where do I go
Follow my hand

Where will they lead me
And will I ever
Discover why I live and die

Why do I live (beads, flowers)
Why do I die (freedom, happiness)
Tell my why (beads, flowers)
Tell me where (freedom, happiness)
Tell my why (beads, flowers)
Tell me why (freedom!)